Change Of Mind Is Possible
You will have to change your ways and live in the real world, because people will not wish to know you as a real live person if you carry on living life as if the world revolves around you. If you carry on inflicting your life on others you will get nowhere fast, so coming to terms with your true self and recognizing that you are not going to make any progress in a certain area for a while will give you some time to think about yourself and your attitude to life. If you genuinely allow some give and take in your life, then you will achieve a whole lot more than you are now, so try not to be rigid, learn to melt a little and live with other people, not against them.
As you find yourself growing mentally as well as physically, do not ask yourself this question “How do I appear to others?” Instead, why not ask yourself “How do I feel and how am I doing with other people in my life”? Once you have answered yourself honestly, you will realize that you have no choice but to react. There are sure to be certain people around you at certain times in your life that may well hold the opinion that they know all the answers to everything that you ask them. These various people are probably also convinced that they know all there is to know about various subjects. Yet, more often than not, you have probably been asking the wrong questions of them in the first place, causing them to give out the wrong answers and accidentally mislead you, or you may find that in some cases you accidentally misled them. Try not to worry too much as there is nothing wrong in you being a bit uncertain about something, or even in having the humility to admit that a mistake has been made by yourself. Thus, you will find that this behavior is also an aid in helping you head towards a path leading ever onwards and teaching you to have some wisdom in your life.
When you become aware of diplomacy with others, even if you do feel affronted by a certain person’s attitude towards you, do not worry, their attitude will change, because you and they will find out that natural justice will prevail. Even if you do not dole it out yourself, someone else or circumstances will. Your first priority is to deal with the urgent matters that are now before you. The moves that are needed to prevent you from leaving the path towards wisdom are quite easy to reach and quite easy to explain and they will encourage you to ask the right questions of the people you encounter and it will also help stop you becoming a know-it-all, as such people rarely get far in life. It can be quite easy for someone like you to abandon a policy of incorrect behavior, or indeed a policy of biased fixed ideas, these situations as they occur can be corrected with only a little effort on your part; sometimes they can be corrected and eradicated from your daily life quite quickly, which in turn may well surprise you. You will possibly find that a touch of humility not only humbles us but it also enables us to see things in a correct and new light as well.
There are going to be difficult times ahead of you during your life, these will be at various times and sometimes when you least expect them. Therefore, if you find that you are in a tricky situation and seem to be getting nowhere fast, try to remember that there is not always a spectacular change around the corner, a change that will put everything right for you just when you feel that nothing is going to happen round the corner. Sometimes unexpected events will make a bad situation disappear from your life, so try to exercise patience with the problem that is currently present and this in turn will allow you to solve the current problem at a more leisurely pace. Thus, try to bear this point in mind: as you proceed onwards with your life, only when you have recognised that a problem needs sorting and a move in the right direction comes along will you begin to make some steady progress. You will then be able to recognize the steps that may be needed, be they right or wrong for you since only time will tell. Try to remain calm and sedate in a crisis and exercise patience when waiting for answers that are not available, then you will find that you will be able to solve problems a lot more easily than to date.
Try to forget your own fears, master your doubts, and shelve all your misgivings on a subject that has become rather heavy for you to handle at this moment in time, remember that not all of your problems come in easy to solve packages. Until you are able to find out for yourself how to cope with a particular dilemma in your life, do try your very best to remember the basic rules that I have already mentioned. If the guidelines are not helpful and adapted accordingly, then the correct progress needed at the time will not be easy along the path that you richly deserve to take. Therefore, if you continue to allow yourself limitations of some self-imposed barriers, then without a doubt your own progress will remain slow and spasmodic. Now would be a good time for you to increase your confidence in yourself by interacting with others around you. By interacting with others, you will find the path has become more evident and easier to follow.
The fact that there are more questions than answers, or in some cases, more answers than questions, can only be partially explained at this time. This is because each additional answer learnt by you can usually lead to one or more extra questions that need to be asked, but if you are not careful all the questions that remain unanswered can take over your life. Possibly, as you find yourself stuck for questions to ask, you slowly become aware that the answers that you do have hold sway in your everyday life. In this respect, answers are indeed like some of the questions, there are so many that there seems to be an endless supply of them, even though answers can seem to be very elusive at times, especially the correct answer that you are looking for. Finding the correct answer is not a reason to give up hope, it is a brilliant learning curve for you to employ on a regular basis. You may find that it is the question one has in the first place that needs to be answered fully before you move on to the next. So make sure it is the right question you are asking, as in some cases, when multiple answers are available, it can be very easy for the wrong question to be answered at the wrong time. In turn, it will be more difficult to solve unknown questions that are relevant but unasked going unasked due to the wrong question being asked.
Asking the right question at the right time can seem to be very difficult for almost anybody at some time in their life, as any inquiry that is made may not seem to be as obvious to anyone else present, or indeed absent at the time of asking. An ill-formed question that is visible in the wrong form or not even ready to be asked can be very difficult to deal with in its current form. Thus, try not to talk until all your thoughts are in an order that you can work from, because doing so can cause some unnecessary aggression in a person, which is possibly due to gaps that currently exist in their available knowledge on a particular subject that can and does clash with a multiple answer. If someone does not ask a valid question at the right time, can easily be led to give an incorrect answer to the question being asked and maybe the correct answer not being given, causing the wrong answer to be received and acted upon. Worse, a completely wrong answer can emerge and accepted by all present. To this end, you may find that one’s own limited perception can easily lead to a period of mass disorientation, which could easily take root in others, quite simply because the correct question was not asked at the right time.
You would be unwise to depend on anyone or anything to the extent that they, or it, take over your everyday life. Any problems you have in your life need not be problems at all, you can sort them out or through joint interaction with others around you, as your knowledge and experience through learning improves. Do make an effort to reach out to others in a sensible way and try out various courses of action that are open to you. As you strive to communicate with others, do not impose yourself on others, as this will have an adverse effect on the results you are trying to achieve, but please beware that tried and tested formulae are not always the best answer: if you are not careful, they can very easily lead to overdependence on others again. A life that is lived and conducted in the pockets of another individual is not a true-life; dependency has clearly taken over in such a case.
During some very trying periods, your life can change on an almost daily basis, there can seem to be an everlasting battlefield for you and each day can seem to contain many problems that apparently never go away. Although some of them may seem to be impossible, it is a good idea to try to bear in mind that not all of your problems are going to be difficult to solve. Therefore, unless you can make an effort and learn to relax and take the daily chores in your stride, then your life is going to be very full. Try to take a good look at your own personal world with some balanced vision for a change, as you are likely to continue your life of everlasting conflict with yourself if you are not careful. It can easily seem that each time that you win a personal battle, another seems to start in your life. In fact, all that is really happening is that you are being shown that your life is not properly organised yet, but it can be sorted out quite quickly: the changes are not very serious in the end but they can be with a little bit of effort on your part.
Another positive way you can learn to cope with your problems is to develop a sense of humour, as this will lighten you up and help you to relax more during difficult times in your life. You will find that by maintaining a detached view of events that are going on today, that much life will happen in the future. Learning to have an amused view of your mistakes will enable you to learn much quicker and put you in a better place to help others around you with similar learning problems, as you will always find that a happy student learns much more quickly than an unhappy student ever does.
In quite a few cases, nothing that we have in this world is going to last forever or final with a full stop if genuine cares taken. This is due to changes that are always happening in your life, deny changes and refuse to accept them because of self centered behavior can easily ruin and kill other lives as well as your own, adapt and live, deny and die, the world can carry on without you, but not you without it! However, with some help from others around you (mainly when you ask you will find this help exists), many impediments can and will be overcome in due course. That is, if you are given time to sort your obstacles out, only then should you allow a semblance of peace to be introduced into your life at the right times. Though various things may be hard for you to accept now, you quite simply will have to recognize for yourself that you do have some control of your own destiny and unless you involve others, you have ever chance of getting to your incorrect destination in due course, very quickly. Remember that no one else can be in control of your future; it is made and shaped by your very own behavior. Remember that your future is what you make of it and if you make a mess of it, then all the other plans in your life cannot and will not go according to plan. Inflicting your self on others, because you messed up is certain to mess their lives up as well, take your blinkers off and wake up to life today instead of living in someone else’s past.
Try to remember the following: the only way that something can last forever is in your own memory and even then, it will only remain as long as you are alive. So try your best to pass your own knowledge on to others in your life before you move on to the next world. One point worth considering at this time is to try to remember to forget the damaging things that have so far happened to you. Once you have learnt properly from errors and mistakes, put them in the correct place in your memory, if you can stay wise, in turn they will be used by you some time in the future to help others learn. You will find that there is no need to torture yourself or others indefinitely and you do not want to recall the bad memories all the time, as living in the past can be very bad for your present day lifestyle and may even be detrimental towards others trying to help you attain your future. Going it alone is not a very good idea as, if you are not careful, it can so easily put you back where you started in the first place.
You may well find that there are times in your own life when you have to improvise concerning a certain matter that occurs now and again spontaneously. There are times in your life that need to be made clear on quite a few occasions, so that you can learn and understand all that your life has to show. This is so that various things can either be done correctly, corrected again, achieved or re-achieved by you that would otherwise remain undone, as sometimes happens. At other times, you may well find that due to poor improvisation, but not necessarily on your part, things are not always going hand in hand with each other. Try to bear in mind that every so often the results can actually backfire on you, that is, if you are not very careful with your own behavior, this can make you wish that you had taken far more care with the things that you were trying to achieve in the first place. When this is the case in question, then patience, not haste should be the watchword practiced by you.
If you currently feel very tempted to do as little as possible relating to a subject that has become far too difficult, even boring to do now and you find you are unable to cope with, and then why not pack up what you are doing now and take a break from it. Having a rest from a trying problem can prove to be beneficial to you as well as others around you and there is nothing wrong in taking a break during a trying time. So do your best and try not to feel guilty, as you are doing nothing wrong. You may well find, after a period of relaxation and a fresh change from the initial problem in question, that not only will you be invigorated and more able to cope but you will also find that a break at the right time will actually cause the problems you are having to become much easier for you to solve. Finally, you will find yourself pleasantly refreshed both from the break you have had and from the result.
Though it may not seem it at this moment in time, things could quite easily be a lot worse for you than they are already. Not so long ago, it seemed that your life was moving along like an express train while today it seems to be slowing down and moving at a snail pace. Hence, if you are having a problem seeing that control is slowly being reintroduced into your life, then, especially after a trying period, you will find that it is in your own best interest for you to learn to relax more and try to stop yourself suffering from stress for no good reason at all. Why not make a few positive changes, prepare yourself for some real enjoyment; there is nothing wrong in playing just as hard as you work in your life.
When you are searching for something you have lost, no matter what it is, you find that the item that has been lost is nearly always in the last place that you look during your search. In a similar way, when you are under seemingly endless pressure, you may find that a break in the turmoil that surrounds you can be very welcome and it tends to emerge at just the right time, usually when you are slowly giving up hope; in both cases it is the most obvious that applies to you this time. You save yourself a lot of wasted time if you can be more patient with yourself and others around you and by using your time more wisely than you have done so far to date.
You will find that by not giving way to someone else at the time when it counts may leave you, if you are not careful, with little or no room to negotiate with others who may be involved. To put it differently, this means that if you can surrender a small point of principle, you will more than likely be able to grab an opportunity that could easily arise later on. Therefore, if you remain alert during the trying times you will be able to follow and act far quicker. It is further suggested that if you follow this course of action, damage done by others can be undone with your determination alone as long as you are prepared to let your aggressors lose their hold on you, but the actions you have weighed up can only change after all the pros and cons have been sifted carefully. It is not a good habit for you to jump the proverbial gun at the wrong time, as you may find that you will alienate yourself from the rest of the world at large.
There can often be quite a strong temptation to do nothing at all about a certain matter that you are dealing with, possibly because you hope it will clear itself up before anyone else notices. This is not always the case in question, even though it may seem at the time, so maybe the reason is not as clear as it should be. The reason that appears this way is that you are waiting until you have a clear sign that may justify your moves in the coming days that you should be doing something about it, that you should be sharing the load that is upon you at this time. Yet, before you actually get up and do something about it, spend some time in contemplation and think things over carefully, a little thought at the right time can be worth its very own weight in gold.
So instead of being idle and lazing around when various things need sorting out, instead of doing nothing, do your best to get up and do something that will be beneficial to you. Then up to a point, it would be much better for you if you can do your best not to be distracted without good reason, if you can make some preparations before you sit down and rest, then all the better for you. If it turns out that your preparations are too early, then you will find that you could have a big advantage in your favour. When the correct time for solving the problem does come along, the matter will be much easier for you to face, and you will feel more comfortable as well.
Is it a case that you caught up in your current situation, or it seems to you as if nothing can possibly be done about it at all? If this is indeed the case in question, then it is about time that you started to rethink things out in your life, so that you can make a very positive change to a certain situation in hand at this time. Try to remember that it is very important for you to think before you act in haste regarding any matter that needs sorting out in your life. Then you will have given yourself a chance of sorting out most of the difficult situations in a constructive way that in turn may mean that you will not be in a position where you only partially buried by a problem.
Are there a lot of pressures, tensions and excitement rising within you now? If this is the case, then as you begin to feel ready to surge onwards, possibly with a plan that you are involved with at this time, then try your best to remember that all these energies can and will prove to be greatly beneficial to you at this time. If you find that you are overflowing with energy, then you must watch
Dr. Peter James aka Boffin1157 was born in the late 1950’s in the United Kingdom. He is currently living, working and tutoring in Northern Romania and is engaged to Dr. Cristina Felea, daughter of Romanian writer Victor Felea (1923-1993).
Among his numerous qualifications to-date are a degree in Psychology and another in Forensic Psychology, the latter is his specialty.
Dr. Peter James wrote a book
Boffin1157 is currently engaged in further studies on everyday behavior and in tutoring privately and as an ancillary advisor for a Romanian University. He is also involved in translation work with/for various persons.
He has a keen interest in photography and has produced a number of photo videos using only stills taken on his Olympus E500 camera, these can be found at various locations on the web by searching ‘Googling’ etc, his alias ‘Boffin1157.
Tags: adapt, change, growth, logic, mental pain, mind, self, thinking
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